[Re:framed] The Act of Giving

Present

Giving gifts is a nice way to show someone that you’re thinking about them and that you care. It’s one of the five love languages. However, it isn’t particularly mine. Although I do love gifts, I am horrible at giving them. I can never get a gift for someone unless it’s something that makes me think of them. It’s difficult. Thus, I end up feeling stressed out during birthdays and Christmas. I never know what to do and in the end I present a pathetic gift (but every once in awhile I strike gold). I find that gifts are the best when you aren’t expecting one and it comes as a small surprise. Maybe not something grand like a flat screen TV, but even something small like a cute little trinket of your favorite animal. It doesn’t even have to be bought, but something someone made especially for you. Those are nice sentimental gifts.

Obligations to give puts a certain amount of pressure on you. What if they don’t like it? What if it’s not useful? What if this? What if that? Valentine’s Day is like one of those times. If you’re gonna buy a girl flowers, don’t wait until some day in February when 467o8246 other guys are buying their girlfriend flowers too. There shouldn’t be a time when you have to wait to receive a gift. If you think she deserves, buy it for her. The girl that gets flowers on Valentine’s Day is going to be comparing her small bouquet to the giant garden that her friend received and she’ll feel a little let down. But, if she receives it on a random Tuesday in March, well, there’s nothing else to compare to. How can you possibly complain when there wasn’t any type of obligation for the flowers anyway?

Gifts also shouldn’t be given with the mindset of expecting something in return. You’ll just get disappointed or guilty. If they don’t give you something, you’ll be sad. If they get you something even more luxurious, your gift will look like your old sweaty gym socks. What you’re expecting is something of equal value to what you’re giving so that you would feel like you’re even with that person. We sometimes strive for that equal balance. What it prevents us from doing is sometimes going to the farthest extent you can for that person or doing nice things with thoughts of it being returned. It takes away from the whole idea of doing something nice for a person just because you want to.

There’s a certain person that would always use the things they do for me as an excuse. Because of that, it made me incredibly conscious of taking anything from her. Recently, I’ve tried my best to avoid her trying to do things for me. It sounds rude, but I don’t want it to bite me in the butt later. Sometimes, she would use the excuse of taking me out to eat or giving me rides to do her commands. I honestly appreciate and am grateful of the gestures, but if it’s being used against me, I rather not take the offer.

Thus, gifts with thought to me are the best. If someone is  just out and about and thinks of me when looking at something, I think it’ll be enough. Obligations to give are also unnecessary. There’s no reason why you have to give a gift to someone on a day in December or a day in Valentine’s Day. Not saying to not give gifts at all, but you shouldn’t have to wait for that day to do something nice. Give a gift because you want to and give it with thoughts of that person.

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